Have you heard of the sexual seasons?
This is the phenomenon that we go through different cycles in our lives, our bodies, and our sexual desire. In order to foster our sexuality, turn on, and libido, we need to honour those seasons! When we are trying to focus on only being one way (usually summer) instead of learning to listen to our body, we can end up getting stuck in certain seasons, and this is where a lot of sexual frustration can come from.
So what are the different seasons and what are they associated with?
Winter❄️
Winter is a deeply important time in nature. It is a time to honour the death cycle so there can be rebirth.
Qualities of winter are:
Rest, rejuvenation, going inwards
Deep still power
Meditation, quiet, stillness
Deep nurturing
Deep wisdom, transcendence from death
The medicine of slowness
Power of potential
When we get stuck in winter it is usually because we are pushing too much of our energy to be in the opposition, summer. Our society is obsessed with summer, as well as avoidant of the death cycle, so when we push through when we really need to be resting, it is as if our energy is used double time. Therefore our body will eventually say no.
Getting stuck in winter can look like: numbing out, being very frustrated that you don't have sexual desire, no libido, pain in your body, avoiding your partner, picking fights, and even vaginismus or vulvadynia.
To move through to any next season is to honour the season that you are currently in. Acknowledging you are in winter, taking extra time to rest, and not pressuring yourself into spring is a great start!
Spring🌸
Spring is where things start to bloom again. But it is deeply important not to try and jump right into summer. Honouring this transition period and youthful curiosity and exploration of spring is key to having a blazing hot summer.
Qualities of spring are:
Growth beginnings
Upward expansion
Newness, Curiosity
Coming into yourself
Yin into Yang - warming quality
Embracing the potential
Following your impulse
Adventure
Playing, laughing, silly, integrated inner child
Creativity
Being stuck in spring looks like "peter pan" energy. Like you never want to actually progress, you are stuck in all the ideas but you never actually let things get to full fruition. Being resistant of following through with things and wanting to stay in the silliness as opposed to the deeper emotions! Fears of maturing, evolving, deepening, and an attachment to youthful energy.
Summer🌞
Our society is obsessed with summer. And P()rn will have you thinking that summer is what is sex is meant to be all the time. Many women with male partners often push themselves into summer as people pleasing because they feel as though they should always be in that hot performance mode in order to keep their partner. But the truth is, regardless of your gender, we all have seasons, and respecting our seasons is deeply important for the healthiest of libidos and healthy body cycles.
Qualities of summer are:
Mastery
Maturing
Coming fully into yourself
Full bloom and expression
Being busy, fullness
Outward movement
Production, completion
Seasoning and richness
Taking action
Getting stuck in summer is that hyper-sexuality place. Like you can never get enough and you are addicted to the dopamine hit that quick "p()rn sex" will give you. Being too busy for moving back into deepening. Never fully completing projects. Avoiding gratitude and deeper emotions.
Fall🍂
Fall is the piece of this work that is the "ego-death", because you cannot keep your ego with you if you are going into an integration and then death process. There is a depth here that comes with a deeper trust. Letting go can be difficult, as can the deeper emotions you need to acknowledge in a process of trusting integration. This is going from the hot raging summer to cooling off, which can be very hard to do in a society that is "summer obsessed". Explaining this one to your partner can be difficult if they do not have knowledge of cycles! But there is a beautiful freedom in it when you surrender as well as reaping the benefits of all you have been working hard for!Qualities of fall are:
Integration
Letting go
Yang to Yin - cooling off
Mind- deep wisdom and knowledge
Healing
Learning
Acknowledging
Gratitude, honouring
Embracing death, the freedom in that
Reaping your rewards of what you worked for
Feeling
Getting stuck in fall looks like being unwilling to learn the lessons and integrate your experiences. Lacking acknowledgment or gratitude. Being unwilling to receive - especially if you are a huge giver! Not letting yourself be acknowledged and proud of yourself is a huge indicator you are stuck in fall.
❄️🌸🌞🍂
Curious to learn to be able to listen to your body and it's cycles? Well this is exactly what the practices in the coven are. They are somatic practices that are for deeply connecting with your body so that you can finally listen!
Join us my love. What are you waiting for? 👇
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